On a breezy summers day, today being a perfect example. My walk to work becomes quite unnerving. God knows why, there's just something about walking along a bicycle path with noone around, bushes on either side of you topped with a light breeze.It doesn't help that there's some kind of small mechanism at the end of the path that is attached to a pulley which makes an odd "lost!monster" sound as it passes through its motions. The unnerving part of it, is that noone operates this mechanism, the area is completely devoid of anyone, and I have no idea whatsoever what it's function is. It just seems to move back and forth along its cables, making that odd sound.I think the fact that my mind conjures up images of the feeding mechanisms used in the Jurassic Park movies, is what causes the before mentioned state of nerves.

I am dieting. I don't know what's happened to me, but I suddenly can't fit into my jeans without laying on the ground and yanking them up will all my might. Not that I've tried doing that, or suffered the consequences of not being able to breathe afterwards. But yes, diet. No Bread, rice, Pasta, Potatos or anything else that I usually eat in abundance. I've also taken to eating fruit, which I don't even like. I have yet to force myself to eat a banana though, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it! My cheese and BBQ sauce morning toastie has, for the past two days been replaced by a peach, and my nightly snacking at work, on whatever I can get my hands on has been overtaken by a small pot of fruit at 2:30am break. I no longer drink sodas, except on the weekend where I can indulge myself slightly, my hydration levels are kept up by a glass of smoothie a day, and bottles of water.

My current weight is: 8 stone 11

My mother thinks I'm insane, well she's always been a little worried, but now she actually thinks I'm insane. For dieting. She wonders why I feel the need to though, when she tells me to "put your flab away". But I digress, I do not actually think I'm fat, looking around at some people nowadays, I think I'm pretty far from it. I just want to tone. 

And then I shall get my tattoo.

Also, I am excited, not for the reason I should be excited for that is no longer happening. Which makes me want to slap someone (though that could be the hormones and lack of carbohydrates catching up with me). I am simply excited to watch Hairspray. Again. I have seen that damn movie 3 times at the cinema! And now that I have it on dvd, I can't stop watching it! I need screencaps so I can make Hairspray art!

For the first time I don't feel Wicked. I'm going to the show tomorrow. It's the first time i'm going since Cast Change, and usually by now I am ready to burst with excitement at seeing the show. But now, nothing. No, worse that nothing. Dread. I'm only going to see CJ, and I am not yet over the fact that Helen has gone. I don't like Dianne. And no, it's not because she took over from Helen, that's all a load of shit! I knew Helen was leaving, as I knew Idina was leaving. I don't hate Kerry because she took over from Idina, I hate Kerry because in my opinion, she's a shit Elphaba. I'm sick of people being so contradicting and hypocritical when it comes to Wicked. Grow up, get a fucking back bone! It seems like everyone feels they need to say something's amazing, just because it's to do with the show they love. But not everything is incredible. It's not wrong or disrespectful not to like something. I don't like Dianne because she squawks, doesn't hold her notes, screeches, plays the part Panto!Glinda, and squeals. Did I mention her voice irritates me? So yes, tomorrow I shall stare at CJ, and scowl at the rest of them. And new!Maria better not be a lame fatox like I've heard.

But atleast I get to see the mop.